Valentine’s Day is coming up… and with it, I can’t help but do some eye-rolling.
I’ve always been wary of Valentine’s Day because I believe that love should be celebrated every day of the year. So Valentine’s Day, to me, is just a marketing scheme to charge people overpriced flowers and chocolates, an excuse to shop for new date outfits “on sale” and go out to super expensive restaurants to show your significant other that you care.
I am generally of the mindset to avoid anything and everything that requires you to spend extra cash to “prove your feelings” to someone… but that’s just my opinion.
Maybe I’m also unexcited because it’s the first year I’m spending Valentine’s Day solo since I started dating back in high school. But I’m leaving for Fiji for two weeks on the 15th, so this cynicism probably doesn’t stem from a lack of excitement.
I Am Jaded By Romantic Love
Valentine’s Day is marketed as a time to celebrate romantic love I guess. And honestly, I am not keen on being in another committed relationship now or have much desire to want to “date” or meet new men.
I am very much enjoying the independence and liberty I created after leaving a relationship I was in last year – one that took up most of my adult life so far. I am happy and in a great space today.
I say I’m jaded by romantic love because my most recent experience with it was not great… obviously. Back then, I allowed my relationship with this man to take over my life. I missed out on personal growth and getting to know myself because I was busy caring for another. I held myself back from opportunities and experiences because I was worried about his reactions; for example, when it came to travel or how I spent my money.
I know I’m able to make space for romantic love again. I’m in no rush though! I’m enjoying building up the relationship I have with myself. Too many people don’t take the time to and express regret later for not doing so. They get to a point where they forget what it’s like to “be WITH themselves”, they are afraid to be alone, they forget who they truly are or who they’ve become.
I know this because I talk to people from all walks of life who have shared different variations and stories of the same message. I met these people along my personal development journey – every one of them are working on improving the trajectory of their lives. It’s pretty cool to connect with them – as they say, we are all fighting our own battles.
But don’t let my cynicism dampen your mood.
I’m writing this to remind you to NOT get caught up in the hype or stereotype of Valentine’s Day and instead remember what it’s really about if you’re lucky enough to share it with someone.
Stop trying to impress each other with superficial things and instead connect with each other.
Don’t get stressed out about planning the perfect date; just spend some quality time with your significant other.
Put the phone away and be present.
Do something that REALLY means something and will propel your relationship forward. For example, a friend of mine will be asking his girlfriend to move in with him on Valentine’s Day! Now that’s ballsy!
And another tip, don’t forget your most important relationship… the one you have with yourself. If you’re not happy and fulfilled in that relationship, there is NO way you can be happy and fulfilled in a relationship with another human. It just doesn’t work that way so I’m telling you this now to save you time and heartache.
While I’m off strolling along the beaches in Fiji, I hope you enjoy celebrating your relationships in a big way. If you have a sweetie to spend Valentine’s Day, do something significant to move your relationship forward and spend real quality time together. It doesn’t have to be expensive for it to be meaningful. If you’re solo, like me, do something wonderful to treat yourself because you deserve loving from yourself!
For more practical advice about the above, check out this guest post written by David Adams – Why You Should Consider Skipping Valentine’s Day (According To A Financial Advisor).
I want to know, do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Why or why not? What are your general thoughts about Valentine’s Day?